Tired of this Life

I tried to move on,...
Get away from that past that I loved oh so much, but how can I, when all I do is sit here day after day?
I try to make friends, but when I do, they always seem way to busy for me, and the only person who has time for me, is Nick, and he lives 30 minutes away!
What the hell you guys? Seriously, if your too busy, than how is it that I see or hear your always out? If you dont like me, just tell me!!
I dont need people like you lying to my face.

It's been almost 4/5 months, I dont even know anymore,... and I still have not yet found what makes me most happy here,.. in fact, I havn't found a damn thing.
So whats the use?
Its like you drug people.... wasting away in your own shit..
And I sit here, day after day, and theres nothing new for me...
There is nothing at all for me.
Im just sitting here wasting away.
I want to change!! Help me! I dont know how!
I've tried and tried, and I just end up back in the same spot.
Alone, and forgotten.

Also, how do I over come this fear of being alone?
Im not really talking about being alone in a house,... Im already used to that.
Im talking about walking around outside, going to the store, grabbing something to eat... I cant seem to do it alone. Is that weird?
I dont understand. Just walking out to the mailbox alone is even a little weird to me....
However, I do understand that at one point of time I had done things alone, I just cant really remember, but I know I had... its written on paper.

Im just a lost girl, not knowing where I am, or what to do...